I’m going out in a blaze of glory

He lay on bed twisting and turning unable to sleep. A chance encounter with someone from his past in the mall earlier during the day was playing out behind shut eyes. How they both on seeing each other tried to avert their gazes but eventually as their paths crossed had to engage in some small talk. Five years but the wound still caused pain. Giving up further attempts to sleep he switched on the pc and logged on to his online file repository. Clicking through galleries of images he finally landed on the one that was titled US of A : A new life, a new beginning.  He scrolled patiently through the tons of pictures remembering minute details about every single one. He smiled remembering those ‘fresh off the boat’ days. He had been through it all : friendships, brotherhood, fear,  joy, success, poverty, failures, love,separation, anguish,torment, contentment, perfidy and many more dormant spirits those pictures evoked.

He pushed back the computer and as he lit up a menthol filter. He mused to himself ‘the clouds are too damn far away, i’ll make my own smoke clouds’ He walked to the front porch opened the door. It was foggy outside. He continued blowing smoke rings as a tall figure in a long trench coat and a hat approached his front porch. He looked at his watch. It was 11 PM and he wasn’t expecting any guests. The tall figure stood 20 feet away from him. The light from the front porch was not strong enough to illuminate his face.

The figure spoke : “ Ryan. I have come for you”

Ryan was startled and took a few steps back but regained his composure and shot back: “ Who are you? and what do you want ?”

The figure : “ I am the messenger of death Ryan. I am here to take you.”

Ryan: “ Holy shit ! you kidding me dawg. I ain’t falling for this. Come on who set you up? was it Jake Sully ? Man! you almost had me “

TF: “ No Ryan. I am here for you. It’s time for you to die.”

Ryan: “Ok ! Ok ! enough with the gags. Come out hidden camera crew where ever you are. I din’t fall for this.”

TF: ” listen you fat fuck. You time on this earth is up. I am here to harvest your soul.”

Ryan: (wiping off beads of sweat) “ Ok. My time’s up you say. So how do you plan to harvest my soul when I am kicking alive.”

TF: “ Do you know what’s that splinter in you head that got you so restless and made you get up right now?”

Ryan: “yes. I saw an old flame today. it opened up a root canal of emotions so I had to trace back how my life fell apart ”

TF: “ you are restless because of fear. Fear that the past may repeat itself with your now seemingly perfect life. Your day begins in fear and ends in fear, of losing it all, again. This fear is the very thing that’s going to kill you ”

Ryan: ” But I have insurance for fear.”

TF:” Silly Ryan.”

Ryan: “ Yes I am scared shitless every living moment that all i have built and accomplished over these past few years may fall apart anytime up until now. What I realized ten minutes ago was that even though the edifice of my fortunes or relationships may collapse I can rebuild it all again. I’ve been there done that machi.”

TF: “ what about people Ryan ? Do you think once you’ve let them go out of your life they will come back to you ? “

Ryan: “ Each one of us is born free. We are bound to no one except to the one true God. People keep moving in and out of each others lives. It’s all part of the divine serendipity. I have experienced that If I whole heartedly wanted some one’s company, I could attract them into my life.”

TF:” So you have no regrets in life ?”

Ryan: “ Regrets yes. I regret that when I could have done so much better in my work or relationships, I slacked. I kept making up fake pretences to justify  my lacksidal  attitude towards life. I just wish I had a chance to go back and undo it. But that’s the thing with life, it must be lived forward, but can be understood only backwards.”

TF: “ Dude ! Don’t get all Buddha on me. I am here to take your soul. Save your preaching for the purgatory.”

Ryan: “ Yea, I am ready. Take me away to your special place.”

TF: “Are you ? Cause unlike in yamagola movie this process can’t be ctrl + z ”

Ryan: “ I’ve lived a full and complete life. I always imagined going down in a blaze of glory not in the dead of night like this. But what the heck as long as it is in NYC.”

“I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man.” – Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara

3 thoughts on “I’m going out in a blaze of glory

  1. >“ Each one of us is born free. We are bound to no one except to the one true God. People keep moving in and out of each others lives. It’s all part of the divine serendipity. I have experienced that If I whole heartedly wanted some one’s company, I could attract them into my life.”i loved these lines! nice post!

  2. >“ Regrets yes. I regret that when I could have done so much better in my work or relationships, I slacked. I kept making up fake pretences to justify my lacksidal attitude towards life. I just wish I had a chance to go back and undo it. But that’s the thing with life, it must be lived forward, but can be understood only backwards.”After all these months of teaching you….you didnt still yet made peace with the 'slacker' in you..Today …is the day of ….slacker …..uprising.(dramatic drum beats)

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