arbit chronicles

 

We live in a cynical world.
A cynical world.
And we work in a business of tough competitors
 Jerry Maguire.


arbit : A slang in India usually used by engineering graduates. Originated from arbitrary and is typically used to denote something strange, random or weird. (wiktionary.org)
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Guy 1: “ Sid, you’re very intense and hyper active. slow down or else it’ll kill you someday.”

Dude1: “ abee o tere ko friday night aate ich kya ho jaat re. Zara yeh hyper active energy control mein rakho warna burn out ho jayenga.”
needless to say. Here I am hale, hearty and as kickass as ever.

pal : “ I am tired an bored of this life. Dunno where life is heading. It’s a bottomless pit of in search of elusive money”
sid: “ gives refreshing take on life (lead a compartmentalized life, be a saint and a warrior, work to feed the stomach, do creative stuff to feed the soul.. yad yada. Pray.eat.love.”
Pal: “ are you God – awesome ? The long promised messiah of hapless souls ? You give hope to people”
Sid: “ I keep none for myself”

In a budget meeting watching finance matadors trying to fight the monetary bullshit. I snuggle up in a corner munching free cookies and sipping espresso coffee watching the drama unfold. My job’s to take down minutes, itemize and send out a mail (and beeping out the numerous f-words being hurled at record pace) Department 1 is unhappy with dept 2. dept 2 hates dept 3. dept 4 hates 1,2, and 3. If only all the four warring dept could be put in a wwe style hell in a cell match. The last man standing gets all the money. What struck me as odd was all the problems arose from people not talking straight to one one another. I used to think kids do stuff like this (not talking to each other over silly squabbles) but well grown adults with huge degrees next to their name. What ever happened to common sense ? Instead I saw adults quarrelling like teenagers over who was right and who was wrong. No one comes to agree that ‘ok fine we fucked up big time. How do we un-fuck now?’  My radar goes beep..beep..’Dysfunctional.’


“why are you always making me laugh ? Why are you always making people around you laugh ? Is this the real you  or an elaborate cover for some sinister social parasite?”
sid: “ Did you laugh ? Yes ? Did you forget what you were worried about ? yes ? you have your answer.”
“But this is so unfair. You make me/us laugh but we are never able to tickle your funny bone ? why ?”
Sid:“I Lol-ed. Happy ?”

There was a time in the past when I was a nightmare for a particular guy. He used to fear me for my people fun making abilities. No I am not proud, but that was how I was. He literally shriveled, cried  and became a social outcast. And I was never aware that I caused him all this anguish. I am happy he dint kill himself over my taunts. I am pretty sure he hung a voodoo doll of me in his trunk box. But karma is a strange force. It evens out all your deeds. cause and effect. The next year when I became the butt of jokes for the entire school and continued to be for the next four years I realized my mistake. I don’t make fun of people any more. A part of me had died.
I have since realized one thing, those who make fun and taunt weaklings need psychiatric care. Words can have a much more crushing effect than physical acts of violence. such is the power a few vociferous utterances. Now I understand why mantras are so powerful.
Drona was un defeated in the kurushetra war but the moment he heard Ashwatthama had died he gave up arms and was killed by Dhrishtadyumna
I am so neck deep into deepak chopra’s books (ha ha I have read only two till now though) he gets me like no author has before..ok ok I had a book-gasm that one time when I first read The alchemist.  His writings,ideas, interpretations appeal to me. Why ? and so do Martin Scorsese’s movies.
me : “ yay ! it’s snowing” me: “yay! it’s raining” me:” yay ! it’s raining”
pal: “ dude! you’re like this happy weather person. cheerful and cherubic when I am cussing my guts out cuz the weather spoiled my plans. You and your types disgust me.”
me: “ yay! it’s spring”
pal: “arre neeku confident ga telusa leda confidence to ala matladestahav ?”
sid: “ wikipedia chadvalteda enti”
“ this attention deficiency hyper disorder thingy you claim to have is so cool eh. so many famous people have it.”
it’s a curse for me. check out my linkedin profile for all the jobs i’ve switched. And my acads were such a mess that at a point of time my parents considered sending me back to our village so that I could farm our fields (and NO it’s not mouse click happy like farmville). ADHD deserves a complete post in itself.
“Apple vs Google vs Facebbok vs Twitter vs Microsoft, will be an interesting battle to watch because…”
“please for the sake of god stop.”
“ do you love me ?”
“why do you ask err.. dear”?”
“you keep ignoring me so much these days.”
“But I do call,text,twet,scrap you na?”
“ I dunno. I am leaving you. Go and update your facebook status with shit is now in relationship with his dumb pc”
“ you are so charming,beautiful, intelligent and witty. You complete me. you’re the ying to my yang.”
“ I have moved on. So should you. Bye, my husband and kid are here.”
aah beer, the magic elixir that can turn this poor shy Indian boy into the life of the party.
ohh yeah. – Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali; The Big Bang Theory.

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