on code monkey


RR is a disgruntled PHP coder. Our conversation opens with “ FML man. This PHP is an ocean that I can’t  cross in this life. ”

me: “ you know, last night I photo-shopped a donkey head onto a playmate.”

V is an student at Stanford pursuing a math program and she rants “ I just realized I am so damn good at coding and all. I should have picked a major in CS with a specialization  in coding. My BF’s already a code monkey in training, so I thought why make it a family of coders  and hence gave up  on coding”

me : “ the word code has already appeared five times in the past one minute.”

M is this true blue coder types but her current job duties don’t let her do that. She rants about the want for creative freedom.  “ The current nature of my job is monotonous and so unexciting for my  grey matter. I could train a monkey to do my job and It could do it flawlessly.

me: “ The image of a monkey hunched across a key board typing away to glory, sipping mountain dew/munching frito lays  is not so hard to imagine. Lol. So where was I, yeah,Sarah Jessica Parker looks gorgeous in the Sex and the City 2 because it was air brushed yada yada…”


Found this on a forum. In response to the question “Which programming language should I learn first?” – one user responds:


To program in an expressive and powerful language: Python
To get a website up quickly: PHP
To mingle with programmers who call themselves “rockstars”: Ruby.
To really learn to program: C.
To achieve enlightenment: Scheme.
To feel depressed: SQL
To drop a chromosome: Microsoft Visual Basic
To get a guaranteed, mediocre, but well paying job writing financial applications in a cubicle under fluorescent lights: Java.
To do the same thing with certifications and letters after your name: C#
To achieve a magical sense of childlike wonder that you have a hard time differentiating from megalomania: Objective C

I could go on… but I’m not feeling hateful enough today.

P.S. The song ‘Code Monkey’ by Jonathan Coulton.

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