The apartment security guard buzzed her on the intercom. His tone was grave. “ Some drunk guy lying by the dumpster yellin out yer name miss. You better hurry before someone calls the cops on him. Says his name is Ryan.” “ I dunno any such guy.” “But miss, he says you know him very well”  “ damn..very well I am coming down there”  The migraine made a rather dramatic appearance as she took to the steps, running down three at a time. She uttered a few curses directed at the drunk stranger who had gotten ‘er outta the bed. As she neared the dumpster she saw a haggard sickly figure bent over in a pool of his own piss and vomit with his back turned to her. He lay panting on the asphalt too weak to move. Reluctant to go towards him she shouted out “ who is it ?” she waited for the guy to respond. He groaned and with great effort flattened himself on his back and turned his neck towards her. The face she saw was covered with a thick beard. “ It’s me Ryan.” A faint glow recollection began kaboom as it hit her who he was. Unable to contain herself she ran to him and scooped him in his arms. “Oh god ! Ryan! you poor thing, what have you done to yourself.”  With help from the guard she got him on to the elevator. Once inside her apartment he fell on the floor too drunk and stoned to move. With great effort she dragged him to the bathroom and put him in the shower. The cold water elicited angry abuses from him. But she managed to clean him up a little. He tumbled out and fell on the couch dripping and slipped into an instant slumber “ Ryan ! wake up ! what the hell is all this? What’s going on ?Where have you been all these years ? i thought you  were dead? What happened to you ? I need some fucking answers damit.” he opened his eyes a bit, the dull light from the night lamp making it easy for him to absorb the surroundings. “ Nice place ya’ve got here” “That’s not what I wanted to hear.  I need fucking answers.” A look of pity came over his face “ You look so old haha. Man! nine years sure is a long time to be gone. What did I miss ?” She stares at him impatiently as her head begins to go crazy with searing pain “ I was running around embracing my dark side. I did things I should never have done. I lost my way in the world.”But Ryan you were always the good one. Everyone’s favorite.  The comedian, the altruist the hope giver. What happened to you ? I always used to look up to you but then suddenly you disappeared without a  trace. For five years I searched for you and gave up all hope of finding you alive. Why did you go?”I wanted to find my inner voice. But my quest came up empty. Doing unmentionable deeds I thought I could provoke it to show itself. But turns out it’s one resilient bastard. It’s a lie this whole inner voice thing.”How did this whole inner voice thing begin in the first place because as far as I remember you were always about matters of the mind rather than those of the heart.”It’s a long story which I don’t have time to tell right now. I know I’ve put you through a lot of pain and suffering on my account. I’ll trouble you only one more time. Can you please get me a glass of water ?” As she walked towards the kitchen she heard a loud bang and ran back to the bedroom. He lay on the bed with his brains blown out.She shrieked and fell on the floor and began crying. A piece of paper rolled out from his hand and fell on the carpet. She grabbed it with both hands and began reading and crying. It was written in his neat handwriting “I wanted to see your pretty face for one last time.