so where do I start…

I can start off by telling how it’s pissing me off when people claim the only reason they like NYC is because they want to sound cool and all or with the incessant walking exercises I’ve been doing of late or the usual jazz, narcissistic  whining rants or how I am trying to stay sane by blanking out my mind watching white walls. Yea nothing much to say. Or that short story that’s been brewing at the back of my mind for the last 3 months or how i dread Mondays or so and so forth. So many false starts. But Ryan nailed it for me, he says: “ You could do so much with what you have right at this instant, rather than hold out for some hypothetical special idea that you think is going to be beamed down from the heavens right into your head.” This guy Ryan always gets me, with his words and ideas knowing what to say at the right time.  Of course he also my voiciest critic. When all the world gives me a particular opinion he gives me the counter view; sorta devil’s advocate he is.

Like he once said “ you know beneath all this facade of humor, do-gooder, happy go lucky guy is a cynical evil guy. You just don’t bring out the superbad cuz like many others you are a conformist and a sell out. You’ll keep doing the same shit over and over again if it pleases a small section of people. You’re the comedian who is too afraid to laugh at his own jokes. And for as long as you try to avoid this dual nature of yours you’ll be trapped in a no man’s land. Making others happy but incapable of making yourself happy. be selfish man. put your priorities over others, don’t let them use you as a pedestal for their success. it is acceptable to be vulnerable and a care giver but insinuate some caution into your system rather putting it all out.”

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