The lightness of it all

coming up with entry titles is a chore in itself ! and this one is not a ruse for drawing you into some metabolism and BMI related banter. So yea, the ADHD therapy sessions with my doc have kicked off on a fine footing with me reading up a ton on the matter (the empowered patient haha) and interrupting the doc frequently midway in his sentences and ending with him saying “you know what? you’re untreatable” haha. But it was a good catharsis nonetheless. We indulged in some History of Present Illness, detailed study of my childhood behavior (like me eating mud, crappy handwriting, the time i pissed in my pants, the oppositional defiant disorder [ODD] and arbit stuff not of much interest to you the causal reader) So according to the doc I may have outgrown my ADHD and maybe some of those traits have carried into my adulthood; but more immediate concern to him was that I may have Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and a few traits of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He says I may be a goldmine of undiagnosed mental problems and that one of his research assistants to monitor me closely. As a parting advice he told me not to worry too much by magnifying issues and consume less cheese cake. But now I understand why therapists are so highly paid here; you tell them stuff you wouldn’t probably talk to yourself about;and they are like a sponge absorbing it all patiently and knocking some sane advice.

Back home sitting on the front porch with a cool breeze flowing I put up my legs on the fence. It’s such a relief. Legs need rest and pampering period. I begin laughing out aloud remembering funny scenes from sitcoms and all. Roomie comes by, shrugs seeing me lost in my own world; murmurs something to the effect of “poor guy has lost it.” pats my back in fatherly concern and goes to pee.

The thing about jokes or scenes only you seem to visualize and laugh out aloud is so awesome. It’s like this inner private world to which only you have access.

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that is where I renew my springs that never dry up – Pearl S. Buck 

When I was this aloof kid in school my only hobby was building imaginary cities in my head, coming home and translating that  dream city into a structural reality using shoe boxes and discarded cartons. Our whole balcony was encroached by my megapolis. I used to make additional improvements everyday like crazy. A vertical shoe box would be a tower,a horizontal one a staff quarters, black socks laid end to end would be tar roads, my hot wheels cars would ferry people in and out of my city and all. My brother who was always a sports guy seemed to be fascinated by my indoor constructional hobby and would beg me to let him build. Being the snotty kid I was, I  bluntly refused. So one day when I had built my latest masterpiece and gone out to do homework he lit a candle that I had put up as a street lamp. Corrugated cardboard boxes + flame = you do the combustion chemistry. In 30 mins thick smoke started coming out from the room. My parents freaked out; my dream died. Looking back now methinks if I had seriously pursued my urban planning jig, I may have very well been India’s Donald Trump. haha.

So back to where I was laughing out aloud on the front porch. I just kept laughing.

Because life ain’t so bad if you have something to laugh about at the end of the day 🙂

The two bleeding travelers lay besides each other, telling funny tales waiting for death to tide over.

p.s. one of these days I am seriously contemplating taking book& pen, sitting by the majestic NY waterfront, spend the whole day doodling/scribbling. Getting distracted by the hoi polloi and creatively inspired at the same time 😉

2 thoughts on “The lightness of it all

  1. >excellent post andi..aaaay."It’s like this inner private world to which only you have access."Your 'garden of memories'.Straight from the heart!

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