a star wars tshirt and other tales

So I was on another one of my spirit walks around NYC sporting this black star wars tshirt i recently bought at a garage sale (hey hey I am on a budget) when around federal plaza a guy on a skateboard came up to me and stood blocking my way. In NYC when this happens, you better get into the  krav maga stance; but come on, me and Israeli street wrestling, fat chance. So I looked haplessly at the strapping  6’4 guy in a goth tee with a goatee and prepared for my worst nightmare meanwhile looking for escape routes. He waited for me to unplug my apple earphones then breaks into a smile and says “ dude I am one of the biggest star wars fans in east Manhattan; if not the biggest. I have taken it upon myself to click any object referencing the movies. So if you stand still and I will proceed to click.” See my mind doesn’t run on your normal frequency. while he was talking I was looking around to see if some one would sneak up behind and stun me (it was a deserted plaza after all) noticing no one i gave one of those awkward I may shit any moment smiles as he pulled out his HTC touch and clicked away and thanked me. I just ran. literally.  i run rarely. I just hope and pray he was serious about collecting pictures of starwars fans, because i don’t want my smiley face photoshopped onto some porn star; it’s marriage season after all.

I was at the Armani Exchange store checking out the clearance section when a lady walked up to me and asked me if I worked there. I blushed. The people who work in Armani Exchange stores look like models straight out of fashion mag.
While I was flipping through winter wear at Banana Republic an old lady picked up a sweat shirt and began placing it on my back, trying to gauge the fit for her old man,son, lover or wotever,  with out even saying please or sorry. People seem to be taking me for granted. He is brown what can he possibly be mad about, is it ?
Recently at office we had one of these free lunches and I invited myself. As I neared the food table and began helping myself a lady came up and got excited “ that’s beef !!! you Indian’s don’t eat beef right ? Because if you eat it you are condemned to hell! Sorry sir, Not on my watch.” me: “Lady chill. Pass me the hot dog will you ?” epic pawnage occurred.
I tried eating a dollop wasabi the other day, again. I had a near death experience, again.
Some one at work recently praised my design work. To which my Boss said “he was just fooling around.”
On these long alone walks I have been taking of late I hardly seem to sit anywhere. It’s like my legs are some kind of perpetual machine that seem to only want to pound the pavement. And no sweat breaking’s occurring! But I always overshoot the I want to sit down someplace, watch people, read a book, write some stuff goal 😦 Walking is a drug which seems to have the only purpose of improving my cardio vascular functions.
People the workplace are warming up to my class of snide humor. Someone actually complimented me saying “ that’s very funny” and my sarcasm radar din’t even blip.
So I was hanging out with the Sql Developers in my office; more for the haleem and less for the gyaan. Everyone was eating happily and looked at me strangely when I dipped my spoon into the haleem pot, to cut the tension I said “a Sql query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks may I join you ? ” laughs were heard and my intrusion was forgotten.
Networking helps. food wise. Like every time I go to apna bazaar and this particular aunty is manning the counter she gives me free samosas because she thinks I am from New Delhi. I am not complaining.
The office recently hired a ‘professional’ designer and I had to send him my psd files so that he could work on them. The bugger had an aol email address. 50 failed attempts latter I vented to the boss “ I refuse to work with someone who has an aol email address even today” Needless to say he got the contract and the 10 grand.
The other day I was very sleep deprived when I had a series of life changing revelations via short dreams that seemed to populate my mind like advertisements. My whole life and it’s under lying conflict flashed in just under 30 seconds. Will elucidate on that latter.
The ipod play button has been stuck on this song for the past two weeks (which is remarkable considering my short attention span and passable interest in music) this song makes me want to dance!

 

hey there fella,

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