When the fone rings mid day on a Saturday and you’re still in your dreams fighting trolls and saving that six pack case of beer, it has to be some one from India on the other end of the line. It’s the bro. No surprises there. He’s in serious kicking form because from the drowsy tone of my voice he understands I am half way between the dream world and the real world. (did i just work in an inception reference there?..well watever) and for seriously military defense types like him sleeping beyond 5 am is an unpardonable sin worthy of being lined up against a wall and shot by a firing squad. His ideal cadet would wake up at 5 and go work out those turgid rippling muscles like crazy ‘the more you sweat in peace the less you bleed in war – old bro saying’. The bro’s a sweet cloying guy who works in his purpose for the call into the conversation out of the blue; no really. Shock and awe I guess.
Bro : “ Saw Dabaang the other day. I would totally zandu balm that female”
bro : “ any other good movies ya seen of late ? “
me: “ udaan was good. heard good stuff about aashayein too..”
bro: “ hmm..you ready for marriage ?”
me: “wtf!!..is this a setup?”
like i said. shock and awe.
bro: “ you’ll be hitting 25 soon…Did you plan what’s ahead ? Where you want to be in your life? did you start retirement savings ? And life partner ? and weight loss ? You need to figure out your life rather than sleep lazily on a Saturday still hung over from that 5 guys burger you had last night. Seriously go do some push up/ab crunches or yoga”
me: “. . .”
bro: . . . and you have a holiday on Saturday ? You know where I am ? On duty in the parade ground marshalling cadets through exercises while my fat sloppy brother is delightfully eating cheese burgers on Friday nights and sleeping late into saturday afternoons. fml.
bro: ok ok. So this time when you’re coming to India are you planning on getting married at least ?
me: why does my life all of sudden seem to sound like that Hyderabad Blues movie ?
bro: enough with the movie connotations. So what’s he big plan for this fall India trip ?
me: hmmm..i thought we could do some adventure sports, outdoor hiking and all you know for some serious bro on bro bonding and here you go with your buzz kill banter on marriage future plans. I planned to get you some A grade booze but now you make me think otherwise. And why do you sound like dad and mom all of sudden? Ok listen reg. marriage I can’t marry just anyone without getting to know them at least. And don’t gimme that piece on you have the rest of your lives to know each other..na na..no can do. So yes, I will be in India and if you find someone then lemme talk and see. If I like like and there’s a vibe who knows…
bro: so about that Iphone4…
and the conversation dissolved into antenna gate and the grip of death issues which are too frivolous to even write about.