for when the façade rents

The true face of Man shows itself. Deglamorized and naked.

Ryan’s diaries – June 2010.

We all in the same boat brother. You rock it too far to the right you fall in the waddah, rock it too far to the left you fall in the same waddah.

I was musing on this quote by Huddie William Ledbetter when we were called into an urgent meeting in the situation room. I was half expecting this because earlier during the day the latest numbers had come in and going by the sea of people vacating their cubicles with possessions in cardboard boxes   at noon,  it had been a complete blood bath. My mentor and I hastily made a mock up  presentation to the board, perspiring heavily even with the ac turned on in full blast, we entered the war zone. What followed next was an extended period of shelling between the two sides. Some were calling for our scalps.

The mentor,  a veteran  known for getting out of tight spots like these was pushed to the brink of exhaustion when his normal calm composed façade began to rent. In the blink of an eye I saw his naked face. It scared me. I saw a man way beyond his years worn out and wounded by boardroom battles bearing every blow dealt ever gently and coming out bloodied but with his dignity intact.  But today was the first time in all the years I had know him, he was close to going postal.

There are 2 kinds of anger explosive and impulsive. explosive is a customer at the store who gets mad everyday and because the cashier wont take his coupons. impulsive is the cashier that takes the coupons day after day then one day pulls out a gun and starts shooting.

Panic kicked in. I had to act fast to relax him. I rose to the occasion, filibustering. I was able to divert the evil eye of Sauron towards me. It was bad. I was inches away from getting fired but commonsense prevailed and I lived to die an another day.  On our way out my mentor congratulated me. I had made my bones.

If my mentor was my God and then today I had seen God’s real naked face. It scared me to think of what lay behind that  façade.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

A dedication to my mentor:

Rana Sanga
Fought eighty-six battles
Had eighty-six wounds
Lost his eye
Was never defeated by an enemy
Songs of warrior praise were sung
Up and down the Ganges ~ Via Link